Your prayers are all "wish lists to Santa Claus"

"So remember, your Father already knows what your needs are". (Matthew 6:8) Do not ask for things in your prayers. Those are veiled complaints. A proper prayer consists of only two things, praising God and thanking God. Do not tell God what "your needs are" in your prayers. God is always right next to you, and therefore he is already very well aware of each and every one of your needs. That being said, you might then start to understand just how redundant and unnecessary it is to think that you have to tell the Father anything about your situation or needs, believe me, he already knows. Have a little faith. (Here is a very secret insight from someone who knows which will finally and properly clarify the whole issue in your mind). All that God really wants to hear from his children are these two simple things, "Thank you" and "My goodness, how wonderful". Variations on those two themes will get you through all your earthly existence and right up into Heaven. Just what he deserves, all accolades of "thank you" and "praise to you" and not a complaint in sight.

However, that being said, what are you going to say to God? What? Ask for something from God (hurt God), or give God an accolade (thank God)? It is your choice. Will it be a veiled insult hidden as a request? God can read between those lines my love. Let God give you "the things of life" according to his own schedule, which is set up for your own good. You will not speed things up in anyway by asking for them, you will simply provoke God and cause a delay. The only thing that you can do is slow things down by asking for them, it never speeds things up. Forget that, and that is not your business in the first place, hold your water. The red corvette that you always wanted and purchased even though you could not afford it many times winds up wrapped around a tree with you in it. God's timing is always perfect although many times his timing does not match the timing of our desires. "Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you", (Matthew 6:33) means just that. Stick to telling God all the things that he is not already aware of, like just how thankful you are for all the blessings and provisions that you already have, that is the only path that will work well with the Father. That is called a "positive stroke". You like them and so does God. A "request prayer" is a negative stroke that makes God feel bad. And he always makes sure that exact same bad feeling that you put on his head will come back around and land back onto your own head ten fold.

Did not you ever notice that 99.9999% of the time, when you ask for something from God in prayer, that you do not get it? Common sense should have eventually told you that there is some kind of huge flaw in using that methodology. It just simply does not work. Why? Well who is the boss of your life? You or God? And who knows better as to what is best for you in the long run? You or God? You do not know beans. God knows everything. God finds request prayers insulting, like you want to take over. And God does not grant them. Requests for healings, money, promotions, things, or prayers on someone's behalf, for love interests, even good luck can all be lost just because you ask for them. You are ticking God off and in reality simply making a complaint. Stop it. Have a little faith. Your greatest desire should be that "God's will be done" in your life. Quit asking him for stuff.

You would have more luck getting the things that you want by going out in the garage and mashing your toe with a hammer. That would work just about as good. Quit asking God for stuff. A little faith please. Just a drop. Never do it. He already knows all the desires of your heart, each and every one. And God knows your every thought. Do not vocalize your desires as a request of some kind. Or you will not get it. Ever. That is called "trying to manipulate God". Like you even know what is right for you. He gives your desires to you when he wants to, at the correct time. You need to make that crystal clear in your mind. And stop shooting yourself in the foot.

The New Holy Bible now clarifies this whole rather foggy issue over "intercessory prayer", they historically almost never work because of only one reason, they tick God off. If you want to enrage God, if you want to make him see pure red, start telling him his business by making "request prayers". He already knows what all your needs are, he was standing right next to you when the need happened. The grand sum total of all you intercessory type prayers should be, "My Lord, I pray that your will is done in all matters", and then DO NOT tell him what "the matters" are. That would ruin it. Always use "reverse psychology" with God, never ask him for anything. Have some faith that God is competent in all things. And he does not need to be reminded of anything. He already knows what all your needs and desires are.

Learn the other "Lesson of Jonah", Jonah sat in the belly of the beast for three days making request prayer after request prayer to absolutely no avail, then he switched tactics, Jonah tried a single prayer of praise and thanksgiving only, and the next thing he knew the beast spit him out onto dry land. Glory be, what can we learn from that?

That a proper prayer consists of praise and thanksgiving only. Everything else makes God cringe. Everything else is just like nails on chalkboard to God. Everything else makes God feel bad. You in essence and in reality are calling God incompetent.  In other words, everything else goes into the circular file.

Do you feel that you really don't have anything to thank God about right now? How about for your next heartbeat, believe me he is the one giving it to you, that is a good place to start. You will find that getting down on your knees and offering a prayer of thanksgiving for all your existing blessings can really help turn around any problem or situation.

You need to completely change the way you picture God in your mind. Right now you think of prayers as "a trip to visit Santa". Right now you think you are sitting on Santa's knee, asking for things, favors, healings, money, love interests, etc. etc.. How about properly thinking of God as "the beloved patriarch" who has already given you everything, most notably your very existence? You are dealing with someone who loves you. How about acting like that? You do not bring up money issues with friends.

Quit hurting God.

God admits that this may seem like a bit of a change from the type of "non stop begging mode" of prayer that the children beat God up with now. In reality, it is only a clarification (note Matthew 6:8), but it is an important one. Notice which of the ten proclamations is the largest one. Put away your begging bowl. It is now time to have a little faith. Start making the interaction between the Father and his children a little pleasant for God. Right now it is not. Just a giant "cringing session" while you ask for one thing after another. Just say thank you.

A good morning prayer would go along the lines of something like this:

"Dear Father (or Shekinah). I love you. Good morning to you. My dearest. I love you. Thank you for my wonderful nights rest. I had a wonderful dream. Thank you for that. I was warm and cozy. What a wonderful day. It looks so so pretty outside. The clouds. So pretty. Mmm.. hmm.. I saw some very pretty clouds over in the east today my dearest. How pretty. Your paintbrush has been at work. So gorgeous. So pretty. Thank you my dearest. And I love you. Amen and Amen."

(The most important thing is to not use this prayer "verbatim". God only likes new and original prayers each time, and this applies for all grace prayers also, a standard or repeating prayer demonstrates a complete lack of care and reverence, and should never be used.)

You say something nice to God.

That is praying.

You make God feel good.

Then you go about your day.

With a smiling parent.