Sermons, two on tv, equals, one in a pew

 

 

This

Is my deal, to you.

Sermons, two on tv, equals, one in a pew.

What that means.

 

I tell you, to enter Heaven, you must do, ONLY TWO THINGS.

And, you are going.

 

1. Audible grace prayer, before each and every meal.

And 2. Attend church (note: not "temple"), at least once, each and every week. (i.e. worship God.)

 

And that is it.

You are going to Heaven.

If you do that, I, Mark Dreher, The Lord Jesus Christ

GUARANTEE

On my eyes.

That "You will go to Heaven".

Even homosexuals, no problem.

 

But

Is "watching a sermon on tv" fulfilling mandate #2, from God?

i.e. is watching on tv, or computer, "good enough", to fulfill, that requirement?

 

Answer - Maybe.

If, "you watch two."

 

Reason - That, is "pretty easy", just to watch one sermon.

A youtube Joel Osteen Sermon, is only 28 minutes long.

(i.e. "The Rules for the New Millennium".  Joel Osteen free sermons:  http://youtu.be/0OvoaxlCMq0?list=PLUkPsqhLKL-wbz3zK6nC_2elb_-vFV76q )

ONLY 28 minutes, is "a bit skimpy" way, to pay "all your obligations to God", for each week, if you want to go to Heaven.

To be very honest.. But, IF you

 

Watch two (2) Joel's, or "56 minutes" of sermon.

 

Or two sermons of, any of the other "Top 5 Preachers":

http://thenewholybible.org/the_top_five_preachers.htm

 

That, I, and God, would count as "full compliance".  i.e. combined with grace, the very BEST, a human can do.

You are going to Heaven.

 

Important

Note: "I am afraid, you MUST pick from this list, of five APPROVED, by God, preachers".

Or

You do not "fulfill the requirement".

To not "PHYSICALLY ATTEND" church.

You are being given, "a special dispensation", so that you don't have the bother, and expense (donation plate, pass by.) of doing the work needed, to actually, drive off to church.

And watching, two sermons, of these FIVE SUPER PREACHERS, per week.

Is a fair trade.

But, only them.

 

That's it.

 

The others, you do, on your own time.

 

Not mine.

 

That, will fulfill, your requirement number two (2).

 

100%.

 

I grant that.

 

 

Signed,

 

Mark Dreher

 

The Lord Jesus Christ

 

 

 


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